On this day in particular, I had a prisoner with a prison security guard with him. Since the security guard was not hospital staff, they still needed me there. The prison guard had the VERY IMPORTANT job of reading the paper and ignoring the prisoner while I sat arm's length away from the prisoner and getting cursed at and threatened. The prisoner also had a penchant for spitting, hence the spit shield (an over the face hood made of black netting). The prisoner was not only inappropriate and verbally abusive, he was also a bit out of it. Because of this, he kept asking why my panties were over his face. :/
So, dinner arrives and I am informed by the nurse that I have to feed this guy because if we untie his hands he will try to escape. I am not happy about this because that means I have to raise his spit shield and very likely be spat upon. AWESOME. Before I decide to raise the shield, I figured I better be sure the guy was actually.. I don't know.. hungry. So I look him in the eye and say, (very sweetly I might add), "Are you hungry?" He looks directly into my eyes and says in a gruff, muppetlike voice "Yeah, I'm hungry.. HUNGRY FOR YOUR PUSSY!"
:/
The prison guard heard it and I could tell was about to call him a piece of shit or something and I held up my hand to the guard as if to say "just hold on.. don't say anything". At that point I removed the lid from his tray, slammed the lid down on his bedside table and said, "WELL YOU ARE GETTING SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS." Prisoner's demeanor immediately changed to defeat looked down at the tray and opened his mouth for me to feed him and proceeded to obediently eat his meal with no obscenities or spitting. Then he let me brush his teeth after. (his breath was TERRIBLE). The prison guard could not have looked more proud of me. ;)
P.S. This is what a spit shield looks like. (and for the record, my panties NOWHERE NEAR that size)
