Since I am anxious and need to keep my mind occupied, I'm going to talk about ordinary things. About nothing type things. Things that could easily have been addressed on Seinfeld had they ran a few more seasons.
Macaroni and cheese boxes. Whoever came up with that pathetic little perforated "D" shaped arch that says "simply press here" is a piece of shit. What it should say is "jam the butt end of a butter knife here".
Electrical outlets are supposed to look like little faces. Two eyes and a mouth. Anything else is upside down. Whoever installs said outlets in this manner should be doomed to the circle of hell in Dante's inferno where all the Glade plugin air fresheners are upside down and leaking all over and shit. Then they have to clean the ensuing oil stains. Forever.
Why are there so many houses and businesses that have the hot and cold water reversed? Is it that hard to 1. check after installation and 2. change around if it's not right? Does an exposed ass crack really predispose people to a life of the inability to differentiate between hot and cold? You know, the weather has started getting awfully chilly. Clearly I need to let my ass hang out.
Why is it called a Driver's License and not a DrivING License? You can have a nursing license, a hunting license, a fishing license, so what's the difference? I'm also not sure why people from New York have licenses at all except maybe to keep track of who send all the fines to.
And finally, why can't Victoria's secret come out with a pretty bra with wide shoulder straps? Not everyone is flat chested like their models. They should also have a breastfeeding and maternity line, since wearing their little carnivals of naughtiness end up getting women knocked up eventually anyway. It's a whole untapped market, as far as I can tell. (Though I suspect VS really markets to the male population, as my 8 year old son's horrifying-to-a-mother's secret stash of catalogs can attest.)
I just started reading your blog, and I'm reading all the posts. This one finally made me comment.
ReplyDeleteActually, all the electrical sockets in the US are put in upside down. You're supposed to have the grounded part (the nose of the face) higher than the other parts of the plug. This is so that if something drops on a plug that isn't pushed in all the way, it hits the grounded part of the plug first, not the live parts. This is more likely to happen with kids, such as they are plugging in a toy and they drop something also in their hand on the plug that's metal (like a Matchbox car), but even adults can have it happen, if they have something on a chain around their neck (necklace, badge from work) and they bend over to plug it in and it falls on the plug, *szzapp*
But for whatever reason the habit is ingrained so that crap like stinky plug-ins will leak if it's not put into an upside down plug ;-)
Victoria's Secret used to be semi-decent. It was actually created so that men wouldn't be embarrassed to go into a lingerie shop with women when they went shopping, or too embarrassed to go by themselves to get a gift. Now, it's still set up so men won't be embarrassed, but they also sell cheap junk instead of half-way decent bras.
You know I heard the other way (not smiley face) is correct, but never really knew why. Thank you for explaining. Sadly, my incredibly sentimental brain likes looking for faces on everything, so I think that's why I prefer them that way. :) Their bras are very overpriced, for sure.. but no one beat Frederick's of Hollywood in lack of quality!!
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